Strange Side Effects of Going Vegan!

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This is some strange Stuff

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The benefits of going vegan are OBVIOUS. But do you know about these side-effects…

Fear of spiders, GONE

Would you believe it! Before I went vegan if I noticed one of those crawly little misfits in my presence I would have either had a complete freak out and try to eliminate it by spraying it with fake tan (true story) or just left the room never to return, hoping it would vanish on it’s own.

Now I am a lover of all living things, I no longer try to harm spiders or scare them away, in fact I will happily pick them up with my bare hands to take them outside.

Brave, right!

Facebook friends list, Plummeted

Seems most of my school “friends” didn’t like me showing videos of where their “food” comes from on my news feed.

Ahh well, wasn’t a fan of most of them anyway.

Protein intake, Everyone suddenly gives a shit

“But like, where do you get your protein from Rae?”

For Gods sake Sandra, read a book will ya!

I feel so loved

Cucumber, AWESOME

Ask anyone that knows me, they will tell you how much I used to hate the stuff

“Kill it with fire!” I would scream whenever I passed the snozzcumber section  in Tesco.

Since going vegan I have been so reckless that I decided to give em’ a go, and guess what! I can just about keep it in my mouth for more than 10 seconds now without wanting to throw it up in my lap!

Taste buds are a magical thing.

Oh me? I’m waaay better than you!

If you’re reading this, and you’re not vegan. I’m better than you.

Sorry, that’s just how it goes. Since I stopped consuming animals and their breast milk, that horse that I like to metaphorically sit on every now and then became a little higher.

Now go make me a tofu sandwich, pheasant.

I used to be a Lion, well no more!

It’s common knowledge that humans have the same physiology as lions and other carnivorous wild animals. So once you go vegan don’t be surprised if you aren’t suddenly craving fresh, raw meat on your tongue.

Those massive canines will have to be put to better use.

Sorry David Attenborough

What do we eat? Vegan, Gluten free, organic, free range, non gmo…. salad, duh!

Wait, I’m sorry did you think that us vegans ate a wide variety of plant based meats, cheeses, milk, sweets and other deliciousness?

You thought wrong. We only eat green.

Idiot.

OMG TREE!

If I see a tree, I must hug it to show mother nature how much I love the earth and everything she gifts to us mere human beings. And to apologise on behalf of the rest of the human race that isn’t yet vegan, but they will get there eventually.

If it was legal to marry a tree… call me Mrs Willow

I love trees man.

You’re not Vegan? Don’t talk to me, I’m very angry

Hold it right there sister! Before you think about speaking to me, I need to ask you one thing?

Do you contribute to the abuse and slaughter of billions of animals every year?

Yes…

Sit back down.


Fin.

I hope that everyone reading this post realised that I am being completely sarcastic and only highlighting some of the ridiculous stereotypes that most Vegans, including myself have to deal with mostly due to the media making us all out to be angry, self absorbed, egotistical, violent, paint throwing, tree hugging maniacs.

When the majority of us aren’t. We just want to save some animals and eat some good food that won’t harm us and the planet.

However, the statements about cucumber, spiders and Facebook friends are completely true to my experience going vegan. This originally was going to be a serious post, but I’m having a bit of a strange week and wanted to lighten things up a bit.

Hopefully you don’t mind and I didn’t offend anyone <3

Love, Rae

Instagram & Twitter @raelikesfroot

I post every Thursday evening, so don’t forget to follow the blog for updates, just scroll down!

“Why does everything have Honey in it!” – Rae 

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5 Comments on "Strange Side Effects of Going Vegan!"

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Stewie Overseas
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Are we nothing but pheasants to you?! Mere long-tailed fowl wandering along the forest floor? We cannot make tofu sandwiches with our wings and claws.

thecrumbyvegan
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Great post! Made me laugh. I’m looking forward to your next.

somethinghumble
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You’re like a striped cat. Sitting on a high branch, you’re all but invisible. All I can see is your Cheshire grin.

RaeLikesFroot
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Noice! ❤

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