MY EYES, THEY BURN!
Related Video –
I had the idea to do this post when I was putting my food shop through the self service till (I’m very unsociable) at Tesco last week when I scanned though a trusty courgette and being the strange veggie obsessed vegan that I am, a sudden thought come rushing to me…..”I wonder what this vegetable looked like before it was plucked from the ground?”
Did it even come from the ground? How does it grow? Where does it come from? a tree? a bush? space? How have I made it 24 years on this planet never knowing where courgette comes from!
So once I had got it out of my system and looked up “courgette plant” I thought, “Wow man that’s weird as f***, I’m 100% sure other people would like to be shown this too!”
So this post happened. Enjoy!
Just look at these little green balls. Like Marmite (which is vegan btw) you either love them or you hate them. Anywho, a pretty standard thing to see in any supermarket, right? You just assumed they have always been this way, right?
WRONG! I know, I feel violated too.
Here’s an image of a common pineapple enjoying it’s holiday in Margate
Here is an image of that same pineapple before it’s holiday. Stressed out, defensive and damn tired of your crap.
I love eating tiny trees, sometimes I like to think that bugs wander into tiny broccoli forests when they need to catch some shade in the summer, or take a little wee behind them when they are too far from the nearest Starbugs (see what I did there)
BUT IT’S ALL LIES! Look how extravagant this is. All that for one little broccoli! Definitely over- compensating for something there fella. It’s the peacock of the vegetable world!
I genuinely feel anxious when I don’t have at least 2 bunches of bananas in my flat. They are probably one of the greatest froots ever!
Freelee’s back garden is pretty impressive, right?
And finally, the innocent yellow courgette. Very bland, also known as a zucchini in ‘Merica. This couldn’t possibly have looked even remotely interesting before it was harvested!
Yep…… f***ing weird.
Anyway, that was my weekly dose of creative input to the world.
I’m enjoying writing these light-hearted, stupid posts. They are the kind of posts I like to read, but I enjoy writing them even more